Pre-Departure Write-up

Japanese Studying Materials

I don’t think the fact that I’m going to study abroad has actually hit me yet. I do have moments, however, where my heart starts racing and my stomach gets massive butterflies and I feel like I need to either yell at the top of my lungs or run to my bathroom and throw up. It happens when I think of how I’ll be living, the little things, you know? Last time it was because I pictured myself in a school uniform. Usually, when I think of being in a uniform, it’s just a body. This time, it was me. My face, my body shape, my big feet, it was all there. It’s moments like those where it seems almost real to me. I don’t know if it will ever really sink it, though. Maybe it will always seem like a dream.
I don’t have time for dreaming, sadly, seeing as how I’m leaving in only two months. Two months! Wow, it’s so crazy! I have so much to do for the next eight weeks. Lately, I’ve been freaking out because of all the preparations I need to do. I still need a visa, to start things off. I need to get my glasses back from getting fixed, I need to order my contacts, I need get a refill on my just-in-case-I-get-pneumonia-again inhaler, I need to figure out what I should pack, I need to work on my English and history courses, I need to do SO much!

And recently, my language skills have me worried. My teacher says I’m so good, and I understand so much, but it really bothers me when I don’t understand simple sentences. And it’s not because I don’t study enough; I study ever single day. It’s the mixture of not having enough time and being backed up because of school for months. Now that school has been out for a while, I’ve been studying so hard. Hopefully I can learn a lot more before I go.

I’m even starting to make lists of words and phrases I need to know. But I seem to be making lists for everything nowadays. Just above my bed, I have a whiteboard with a big list of everything I need to do for the day. Organization is a quality I’ve never possessed before, but somehow, I seem to be oozing organization these days. I guess that’s a good thing, seeing as how it’s helping me mature. I guess I have to grow up eventually, huh.

My Study Plans!!!

I’m stoked, though. I know I sound kind of like a downer, but I’m just stressed. I’m really, truly, happy to have this opportunity. I’m excited as ever, and I can’t wait to be in Japan. It seems so far away, when it’s really so close. I can’t wait to experience Japanese culture first hand. I’m excited for school-my brother’s girlfriend said she loved high school (she’s from Japan), so I’m really looking forward to that. I really want to try all sorts of food, too. In a way, I’m also looking forward to culture shock. I think that if I can overcome culture shock, I will be really proud of myself.
Even now, before I actually go, I have a newfound sense of pride. I’ve never done anything like this. At all. I did almost everything by myself, from the initial application to finding a Japanese teacher, and it just makes me feel so independent. Even now two months before my departure, I’m already making a list of everything I’ll need abroad. (See? More lists!). I’ve never felt so responsible. I can tell I’m already changing from this experience, and it feels good.

I guess altogether, I’m eager to GO already!

Why do I want to study abroad?

So many times I have been asked, “Why do you want to become an exchange student?” or “What are your top three goals in studying abroad?” Every time it’s a different answer because when studying abroad I will have many goals. I want to make new friends, integrate into the Japanese culture, learn about Japanese fashion, and so much more. All of these are important aspects of my experience, but I fell that there are three main goals I’d like to accomplish. I want to become independent, learn about a beautiful country, and try something completely new.

Six months is a long time to be away from home. I won’t be able to rely on my parents for money or support. My brothers can’t tease me. My friends will be across the globe. Who will I discuss my day with? Who will make me soup when I’m sick? Who will take me shopping for yogurt when I so desperately need it? If I’m this worried about being alone for half a year, how will I be able to go to college? What if I really do move to New York? I’m not magically going to make friends. Now that I’m growing up and forced to face the future, I realize that I can’t always depend on the people I have now. My life will change dramatically over the next few years, and I think studying abroad will help me deal with these changes. I know I’ll get homesick, and I know there will be times I just want to go home, but a twelve hour flight is a long one, so there’s no way I’ll leave. When I get home, I hope I’m a changed woman. Even my application process has given me, if only a little, some independence. From the essays to the scrapbook, I did it all myself, and I’m proud. Maybe by the end of my experience, I can have that feeling again.

Japan is beautiful. Everything about it just intrigues me. The language, from its complicated characters to the sound of the words, is beautiful. The respect system the Japanese use, it’s also beautiful. After taking Spanish for three years, I thought it was just a fact that I was no good at foreign languages. However, when I started studying Japanese, I noticed that because I was genuinely interested in this new language, I was learning and comprehending extremely fast and well. It’s like a dream to know that I have a chance to completely immerse myself in Japanese language and culture. What I yearn for is to learn these customs and become as fluent as I can in a language I love. I want to devote myself to something that attracts me as much as Japan does. This is something I’ve never been able to do, and can’t wait for the chance. I feel that knowing such a beautiful language and culture will help me grow as a person, and help me in the future, whether it is for a job, or simply a conversation.

In the fifth grade, I gave up the chance to ride on the zip line. Then, I gave up that same chance once again in the sixth grade. Until my freshman year of high school, I refused to ride on a roller coaster. I didn’t eat fish. I didn’t like meeting new people. Basically, I was a joy kill. I’ve changed, though. I love new food, new people, and new experiences. Although I still haven’t ridden on a zip line (it is on my bucket list, though), I have had the chance to eat escargot, swim with fish in a reef, and experience the thrills of Disneyland, and boy, am I glad. I absolutely love a new adventure. Going to Japan for a semester is the experience of a lifetime. I don’t want this adventure to be another zip line. I have all the intention to grab this opportunity while it lasts. Life isn’t fun without a little adventure, and as an anonymous person once said, “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” I know if I seize this opportunity, I won’t be disappointed with the show.